Monday, April 18, 2011

Can you keep a secret?

The Secret ShowImage via Wikipedia
A lot of us are shocked at the sudden spate of suicides by housewives. We wonder why they didn’t share their sorrows with their friends. Why did they bottle up all that anger & grief, till it became too much for them to handle?

But is it really that easy to share secrets with people these days?

People share secrets to others to as a declaration of their trust, importance and that they recognize them as their close friends. Additionally, people share secrets to strengthen the bond, to make the relationship tighter and closer. Give & Take, I’ll tell you my secret, if you tell me yours.

Sometimes we just share secrets to unload the burden, to have someone to talk to.

Sharing secrets is almost always disadvantageous for the secret-keeper, but it does offer some psychological benefit as well. It helps us unburden the toxic emotions that muddle our thinking & once we de-clutter, we can think more objectively.

The danger is always there, that your secret may not be safe in the other person’s mouth. But it is a risk we are willing to take at times. I call these people – the leaky ones.

However increasingly it seems to me that percentage of the leaky people has gone up drastically in recent times. Our secrets no longer remain safe outside of our spouses & immediate family. Our misery becomes fodder for the gossip mill. Our troubles dictate how they (leaky people) will play their next move on the chess board of life. They use your troubles to balance their equations with others.

Sometimes it happens within a sunrise & sunset. You off-loaded in the morning, by evening it has reached all ears. In addition to the emotions you lug around because of the secret, you can now add to that anger because of the betrayal, irritation at self for being weak, and self- consciousness as you feel all eyes on you.

Our society is slowly moving towards a scenario where the only people you can really talk to safely is either your psychologist or your priest.

Is it any wonder that we hear more & more of suicides. People feeling trapped, unable to express themselves. People as islands, all to themselves, & when one sinks, we all wonder – why didn’t she reach out to others?
Enhanced by Zemanta


  1. sharing secrets ,suicides and housewives, kinda reminds me of "desperate housewives"lol. u r rt! ppl confide in the wrong ppl at the rt time and inturn puts their life in jeopardy. great post,thought provoking!

  2. @LOTR: Thks! I so agree, it is becoming like Desperate Housewives, increasingly.. The worst part is that they kill their kids as well, which I don't understand.. Ok, so you don't want to live is fine, why kill the child? Just because you gave birth to it?

  3. the work of leaky ppl has become more easier esp with the advent of new technology...everything can be spread within seconds to hundreds...
    nice post.



Blog Widget by LinkWithin